Pari’s VBAC Story

Year 2012 was a good year for me and my blog. Somehow I was able to reach out to some women who would want to give VBAC a chance. Two of my readers (wow, readers talagaJ), who were inspired to go for it and who corresponded with me during their journey, had successful VBACs! And for this, I’m so grateful to God for allowing me to be part of their childbirth experiences. Hence I vowed to myself that this year I’m going to make this blog more updated on the issues concerning VBAC. I realized that more and more women are getting aware that having C-sections rob them of their right as a woman and as a mother to experience the joys of having a natural childbirth. Having experienced both worlds, I should know. Whereas having C-sections (I had two) was a depressing experience, my VBAC was exhilarating and empowering. And I would like to share this kind of experience to as many women in the Philippines and even throughout the world.

I was already able to feature my friend Grace’s successful VBAC here last October. This time around, I would like to share my friend Pari’s VBAC experience. Allow me to share a little about her here.

Pari is from India and just relocated to the Philippines last year due to her husband’s job in Manila. We started communicating with each other after Pari read my VBAC story. She had so many questions, and I was just glad to listen and share what I’ve experienced. In spite of the language barrier, we continued to correspond through texts and emails. What started out as a phone call between two strangers developed into a relationship between two women having the same desire—to have a natural childbirth after a previous Cesarean.

She had her first baby in 2009 through a scheduled C-section. There were no medical reasons, except for her baby being “big,” as what the doctor told her. It turned out that the baby’s weight/size was quite normal, which was 3.2 kilograms. After three years, she is pregnant again and wants to have a VBAC. Her predicament is she’s in a foreign country with no friends to support her of her situation.

At first, she asked me to refer a supportive OB, so I called my OB here in Davao and asked her if she has a friend in Manila who can take my friend in as her client. Pari had a problem in traveling going to UP Manila where the doctor’s clinic is. Good thing she also found a supportive OB near her place.

For a time, she was having difficulty in choosing “the best” OB for her. While the other one was lenient and allowing, the other one was strict with the weight of the baby, etc. Personally, she wanted to have a strict OB so she can be on her toes in taking care of her health and her baby’s, but I told her, in the end, it’s still her intuition that matters. I took care of my body and my baby out of love, without thinking that if I eat too much, I would end up having a CS. Also, her other concern is where to give birth. Since she is near St. Luke’s, she would rather have her childbirth there. So my next tip for her is to check the hospital’s Cesarean rate, the operating/delivery room, the staff, etc. If possible, ask the staff about the doctor and have a tour around the hospital. I truly believe that the birthing environment is very important factor in having a successful VBAC.

Pari was still a bit confused even up to her last months of pregnancy. Eventually, she made a decision once and for all and chose one OB, the one in St. Luke’s. She was happy and relieved to finally put that concern out of the way and concentrate on her pregnancy.

But a few weeks before her due date, she found out something that really troubled her. Her ultrasound tests showed that she has diastasis recti. This is the separation of the abdominal muscles, which happens during pregnancy due to the growing uterus. However, her doctor said that it might cause a complication when pushing the baby out. She was concerned if her abdominal muscle is strong enough and if the probability of a uterine rupture is high. She requested me to forward the report to my OB for second opinion. On the other hand, she had another ultrasound test to get another look.

It took a while before my OB was able to get back to her. Meantime, I still encouraged her to go for it in spite the hindrance that this report is telling her. My ultrasound test also told me that my scar was too thin to even attempt a VBAC, but that didn’t deter me from my goal to have one. When Pari made a follow-up on my OB’s perspective, what she told me really struck me. She wrote, “If I deliver normal, I would really give 50 percent credit to you.” I was so touched with her words. I know I’m assisting her getting the right information, but in my heart, I know that if she has a successful VBAC, it’s really because of God and her sheer determination to have one. All I can do is pray for a safe childbirth for her.

Although my OB gave her thoughts on the report, she can’t give an accurate diagnosis as she hasn’t seen and examined Pari. I asked her about diastasis recti and if there is a danger of having a VBAC. She said not necessarily and that Pari should still go for a TOL or trial of labor. When I told her about this, she was very ecstatic. She said, “I just pray for healthy baby and no future complications. Hope God listens to my prayers, and it’s on him now!”

The following day, November 18, Pari had a wonderful VBAC . . . against all odds! Please read her story here. After having a successful VBAC herself, she is inspired to have a blog and tell other women about her story. Last December, she called me to invite me to her baby’s dedication; but due to conflict of schedule, I wasn’t able to attend. I was just so touched and honored with her invitation, and I would love to meet her personally in the near future. Congratulations, Pari. Welcome to the world, Baby Avani!

pari's avani


About themilklady

a mother of 4 wonderful kids. a social entrepreneur. an advocate of natural childbirth, VBAC, and breast-feeding.
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10 Responses to Pari’s VBAC Story

  1. Mabelle says:

    Hello dear!

    May I know the names of the OB you refered to your indian friend? You mentioned she had two options and she chose the OB in St. Lukes. But I am far fron st. Lukes. Thank you for your wonderful, informative blog!

  2. Pingback: It Is Possible! | mother_nurture

  3. Mary says:

    Hi Ms.Cathy,
    I gave birth last Mar via C-section and now feeling depressed because of the operation and not able to deliver my baby naturally. I was stuck at 6cm for 3 hours so my OB decided to cut me up but in my mind then i knew i can make it. I hope and pray in the future i can have a vbac. Your story and Pari’s story really inspire me. I sometimes felt guilty that I have this kind of disappointment at this time but i know i am so blessed to have a healthy baby boy. My OB told me that I cannot have a normal delivery because i already failed in my trial of labor. I am not convinced. I hope I can find OB who will support and will believe in me that I can do vbac. Thanks Ms Cathy for your blogs. It really give me hopes. God bless.

    • themilklady says:

      hi mary,

      thanks for being inspired with the stories you read in my blog. i trust that all is well with you and baby. i completely understand where you are coming from—you are happy that you have a healthy baby but feel depressed for not giving birth naturally. believe me, i felt the same way . . . twice with my first and second babies. at that time, i thought nobody understood me. books say that it’s somehow okay to have CS if you have a healthy baby, but still i felt like a “failure.” with my second baby, it was even worse because i was already 8-9cm when the doc told me to have a CS. i couldn’t hold my baby girl when she came out co’z i was really frustrated with what happened. but that event in my life gave me a purpose to research and read more about VBA2C and help inform other women that there’s another option other than elective CS. if you are really decided to go for vbac the next time around, i would be glad to assist you:). let’s keep in touch! cathy

      • Mary says:

        Thanks Ms.Cathy for your reply. I want a vbac the next time! – that’s for sure. At this time, I started researching about vbac and natural childbirth (almost everyday, am i being obsessed?). I felt uneducated but I know that I couldn’t turn back the time. Hope that I can move on with this. i also read more vbac successful stories and they gave me hopes. Thanks so much Ms.Cathy 🙂

      • themilklady says:

        that’s great, mary. i did the same. i researched about successful vbac stories right after i gave birth to my second baby. it was my way of healingknowing that there is still hope. believe me, i have folders of vbac stories i have compiled, highlighted, and read over and over again. i even researched women all over the world who had successful vbac stories to tell and connected with them. it made me feel that i was not alone, and i tell you, you are not:)

  4. Angel says:

    Hi Ms. Cathy,

    Me again! Sorry if makulit 🙂

    You can reach me thru my email,

    I really have loads of questions for you hihi

    Thank you! 🙂

  5. Babylyn Soriano says:

    Hi Mommy Cathy, im 16 weeks pregnant with my 4th child now. My first 3 boys are via (CS, normal, CS-considered failed VBAC case). I want to give birth with my 4th sana thru VBAC pero ayaw ng bagong OB ko kasi nga daw twice na ako naCS, so right now im looking for a supportive OB sana at kakasearch ko sa net nakita ko nga itong blog mo and im so inspired..gusto ko rin VBAC. Taga Valenzuela ako at sana may makita akong OB pa or if may marerefer ka much better..TIA.

    • themilklady says:

      hi baby,

      thank you for visiting my blog. i apologize for the delay in responding. just gave birth last may, and i’m juggling with sked. anyway, i’m curious with your second CS why it was an unsuccessful VBAC. i mean, since you’ve done VBAC with second bb, it would have been great if VBAC ulit. please let me know. perhaps i can refer to my OB. re OB in valenzuela, so far wala pa akong alam. hope makahanap ka jan. one of the VBAC mommies is from batangas. wala din akong marefer dun so buti nlng nkhanap sya. i featured her story here as well. looking forward to hear from you. thanks!

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